I've been getting rid of tons of stuff !! Jason and I watched this show on living in tiny houses and we both went crazy for it!! It's basically a retirement Goal for us now!!
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 2:22 PM
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 9:26 PM
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Wow! Can I just say Wow?!!? That is the word to explain what God can do when you tell Him yes.
As you all know, I was blessed to attend IFGathering 2015, in Salem Oregon, this past February. My precious friend, Amybeth, had invited me to attend the year before and I saved that date for the WHOLE year with massive excitement and anticipation. To be totally honest, my soul was in need of some attention and I was way thrilled to have a little weekend get away with my bestie. Jesus, Coffee, Pizza, Hotel room, and Amybeth basically sums up my idea of the BEST-TIME-EVER.
Little did I know what God was gonna do in my heart that weekend. Basically, it hasn't stopped since. I've been praying, and studying, and searching, and waiting to see what God was stirring inside me. I knew He was calling me to something bigger. That weekend, I had a little tug that said, "This would be so cool to host in Tillamook." And I thought, "but no, I can't do it. That will be way to much for me." But I prayed, talked with some friends, prayed, and waited. About a month ago I told Amybeth what my thoughts were and she said this, "Krista, no way. The leader here was wondering if you would be interested in Hosting IF in Tillamook. How cool. And girl, Im praying about co leading with you!"
So, here we go Tillamook Oregon!! IF is coming to Tillamook. Please save these dates! February 5-6. Times and location details will be provided later but save those dates for now!
What is if?
We exist to gather, equip and unleash the next generation of women to live out their purpose.
We believe in women uniting for healing and reconciliation in homes, neighborhoods and local churches around the world. By partnering with other non-profit organizations and coming specifically alongside women, fostering relationships and utilizing our God-given gifts, we believe that our generation could not only transform hearts but leave a tangible impact on the entire world.
Jennnie Allen is the founder of IFGathering and I just think she is so so so great. She shares that the Lord has called her to "Disciple her generation." Love seeing my generation stepping up! Check her out Here .
My precious friend Jocelyn has shared her love for IF Here. This woman is incrediable and I'm so thrilled to get to spend some time with her face to face in September at our IFLocal Leaders Conference. This social media friendship is totally over-rated:)
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 11:00 AM
Monday, May 25, 2015
Our son Logan is a 3rd grader this year at our local elementary school. He's been in the public school system for 4 years now. He came home this year and expressed to us that his teacher believes in evolution. No, we didn't even bat an eye about pulling Logan out of that class. Let me back up just a little bit.
*****side note:I know other parents have a different calling in the area of homeschooling or private school for their kids . I think it would be so amazing if we as parents fully back each other up in whatever schooling choice we make for our kiddos. How cool would that be?? Let's do it :)
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 9:44 PM
Saturday, May 23, 2015
I've been a mommy for 10 years this coming September. Growing up, all I ever want to be was a wife and a mommy. I'm still so thankful that the Lord has allowed that for me! But- in both mommy hood and wifeyhood, it has been revealed to me how much I really had no clue to what that totally meant in a broader spectrum.
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 10:52 PM
Friday, March 27, 2015
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 11:26 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 2:03 PM
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
I woke up this morning with the intent of getting up early . But I stayed with my normal routine of hitting my snooze button way to many times and leaving myself about 10 min to get ready before the kids had to be woken up. I reached for my phone to officially turn off the snooze . Then I went straight to my email. Thankfully I had showered the night before due to kicking boxing and a late night cleaning job. That bought me some time to read my IF:Equip for the day. We are going through the book of Hebrews and it's just so so good.
I read my stuff and went along with my morning, in which I could always use the extra time that I officially set my alarm for. But instead I'm literally running out the door for work and dropping the kids off at school. After the drop offs and on my way to my first job of the day, I just have this yucky feeling in my heart. Some past sins and struggles were boiling up and I had to turn the radio off and just pray. That God would clear my heart and cleanse my mind and keep teaching me to love people .
Growing up, my dad constantly would say to me (as I was stomping off) Krista-don't be so offended! Oh, those words would get me- and offend me even more! But my dad was speaking this truth to me. I was offended and I still so easily get offended . I catch myself saying in my head "Krista! Don't be so offended!!" Because I really do see myself as being entitled to things~at times I feel that I am more righteous because I'm walking with Jesus ~ that my words are wise ~ I get judgemental.
Then, I get offended when things don't go my way, or I'm not included in something, or by words people may say. I'm so nice to you, why aren't you nice back or even acknowledging my exsistence. So I react in my heart, offended . And sometimes I let me words just flow instead of praying about them or evaluating my feelings first!
I want to be better about reviewing situation from other peoples views and shoes. Checking first that maybe their response had nothing to do with me in the first place. And with the mind set that, this could be just ME. And that is humbling and hard to swallow at times. That I actually could be the problem and my sensitive heart just took it the wrong way. I tend to blame things on everyone or everything other than myself.
I clean for doctor and his wife and we get into theological discussions here and there. One week we were talking about the statement "the devil made me do it." And Gene told me, "I feel like those words are just the best excuse for Christians; when really our finger should be pointing to ourselves and saying- 'no-I made me do it.' "
And truly my response is my responsiblity. In my mood of being offended. I'm am responsible for how I am reacting to the events in my life. Not so and so , who had offended me once again. Just little ol' me.
As I grow closer to my Savior and He shows me the things that need to be cleaned out, I find myself just on my knees. In confession of these things, sometimes He says, yes, I will take these battles away ! And sometimes He tells me, your heart isn't ready for me to take them and I want to keep growing you through it. As hard as that is, I just keep thinking of this verse! And this verse just happened to by my IfEquip verse today as well!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of wintesses, let us also LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT, and SIN WHICH CLINGS so closley, and let us RUN with endurance the race that is set before us......Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your WEAK KNEES, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed" Hebrews 12:1, 12, 13
(READ all of Hebrews 12:1-17)
I just keep running to Him. To His word. And He keeps showing me how to lay aside every weight and every sin the clings to me so very closely. And I just keep running. Because I know that in the end, He is there is strengthen my drooping hands and my weak knees . He will make straight my path and I will be healed. I just can't imagine anything better than that.
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 6:09 PM
Saturday, February 28, 2015
It's a funny thing sometimes, memories of the past. Some of them we remember just a few things about and then there are those things we remember just about every single detail of.
MPS III (Sanfilippo syndrome)
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 8:32 AM
Thursday, February 26, 2015
I have started this blog topic several times over the past year. I have a lot of "drafts" in my blog folder on this subject . It's been a hard one for me to be super open about because I don't want to take any pride in any of it and I also hate admitting that I have problems and I need Jesus. But there you go...I have problems and I need Jesus. And basically, He is the only reason that I have been able to over come any of my "issues" and He is the only reason that I can admit that I still have "issues." And even still, as I write, I don't know how I'm gonna say it or share it or talk about it, but here it goes.
About a year an a half ago, I finally admitted to the fact that I had/have an eating disorder. I have had one, in bits and pieces, since I was probably about 12 years old. I can remember the day it began. I was a little under 12 and I was being compared to another one of my family members, and the words were used, "oh, she is just husky." I went into the bathroom and I cried...no I sobbed. I never thought of myself that way. I knew that I wasn't a boney little thing but I was totally happy with my body and who I was. That day, I saw a flawed body for the first time and I cried in a bathroom...and I got it all out...I couldn't let anyone see that those WORDS hurt me so much. And I wasn't gonna let anyone know that I was hurt because I didn't want them to know they hurt me because I didn't want them to hurt, because they hurt me. (welcome to my brain...yeah...for real...I'm a mess.)
Fast forward to my high school years. I averaged about 155-165 pounds. I hated my body, didn't eat lunch (unless it was a poptart...ewwww), I was super insecure physically, and my life was consumed with sports. Like every sport you could do , because I went to a small school and you could do that and I just loved being active:) I never lost weight, gained here and there. I went through my times of eating, not eating, over exercising, not exercising, etc. You see, most people think that you have to be super skinny to be labeled with the words "eating disorder." But can I just say that this is totally wrong!!! This was really what was leading me into my years of binge eating, dieting, over exercising, and massive changes in my body(up and down). I would go to my college having lost probably 15 pounds over the summer and then gaining every inch of it back, and then some, by the time Christmas rolled around. I always had some new "thing" I was doing to lose weight.
Then, I meet Jason. I was at my highest weight (other than pregnancy) of 175. I just had some major surgery done because of freak health scare and issue that I had been born with. I fell pretty hard for Jason, but I mean, have you meet or seen the guy? Can you blame me? During the time that we started dating and got engaged and got married, I lost like 30 pounds. I didn't do anything to lose the weight other than focusing on was our relationship. I had peace about my body, because Jason loved me for who I was and it just wasn't an issue.
When we got married, I was 145. My dream weight. Some of you probably think, eck, dream weight. That's huge. But going from 175, it was perfect. Perfect for me. Shortly after, I got pregnant with Logan. And after having him, I lost another 10 pounds.
I have always been super active. I love fitness-I love the disapline of it. And for the first time in my life, I was finally losing weight. Its like, all those years of trying and being soooooo bad to my body, just stopped. And it was amazing....until it wasn't.
After I had my daughter Peyton, I had this switch click in my head. I say switched because I can't explain it to any other way. But all the sudden I wanted to be super skinny. I wanted to be small and at 135, I wasn't where I wanted to be or could be. So, I set my calorie counter and started getting up early and over exercised my body. I got to the point that I was eating maybe 1,000 calories a day...and this went on for a long time. And I justified it in my mind because I looked great. I didn't look to skinny. I was looking beautiful, I was wearing some size 2 pants....For real...size 2!!
But people, I was not happy. The skinnier I got, the more unhappy and unsatisfied I got with my body. My THIN body. I hated it. I still saw so many flaws. I couldn't see beauty. I took pics of myself, how could I "fix" those trouble areas on my body. Before and after pics. I was obsessed with the mirror, with the scale, with my calorie counter, with my exercise bike, and I was CRANKY. Beyond cranky. First, I am hypoglycemic. So if I don't eat enough protein, I feel sick. And, if I don't eat enough food, I am a big grouch. I was not a fun person to be around.
Around this time, I ended up going to a Beth Moore conference. She talked about letting go of strong holds. Letting go of these things that have such a hold over our lives. To just turn them over to Jesus. I remember thinking, I want to give this area of "control" over my body to Him but I don't know how and I am so scared that if I do, He will make me fat again. For real...reading over that sounds so silly, but seriously. That was my VAIN fear. My self centered fear...that He, my God, my savior, my fighter...would "make me or allow me'' to get fat.
This eating disorder, it had become a Strong Hold in my life. I couldn't get closer to my Savior. I wanted to, I felt Him calling me back to Him, I knew that I desperatly needed Him to knock down those "chains that so easy entangle me." But I just couldn't release it. My hand was half open and half closed.
During this time, I hurt my body, I hurt my soul, I hurt others around me because my focus was so on myself that I got bitter, and I got jealous, and I got mad. Mad at other people who may mess up "my schedule" of making myself look better or those whose who looked better than me. Yuck. All I can say is yuck. I ruined some friendships and they won't ever be the same because of it.
Sin...it takes you deeper than you ever, ever thought you could go and it just keeps taking you deeper until you release it Him. One night, I was desperate again. I knew , I had to give it to Him. I had to say, Jesus....please, take this from me. Help me. Purify my thoughts, my mind. Purify my soul. I can't do this anymore and truly live. I just can't. I felt Him saying.....Tell Amybeth and tell Jason. I needed Jesus but He wanted to use those two people. Those two people who love me more than anyone else (other than my parents....for real.) Those two people who have walked yuckiness with me and still love me and those people I have walked yuckiness with and by the grace of God...we still all love each other:):)
We cried together. Jason being a man, loved me...didn't have lots of words. He is my man of not so many word but lots of hugs. He is my man who stands by me. He makes me better and I am so grateful. And he told me...'Krista, I love you. I have always loved you and I love your body and what you look like.' He is a precious, tender, and humble man...and I still thank and praise the Lord for him.
And, my best friend....my other tower. Her words of , 'thank you for being so real with me Krista. I know you struggle with this and have struggled with this and I never knew how to talk about it with you. ' Because, people, this is who I was. Those in my life had always known that I was STRIVING to change my body, to change my looks. And those in my life, always loved me for what I looked like, but more for who I was on the inside. Sometimes people who love us, don't know how to help us, unless we admit to the problem itself.
Telling a couple of people in my life, caused me to be held accountable. And also, showed me that sharing our issues with others, can open our hearts to helping others.
Eating disorders are real. I am not saying that my "eating disorder" was sin. Because, I really think there is some mental illness that go a long with it. But that disorder was the start of sin in my life that I couldn't get rid of until I got help.
I read this article about how we view ourselves and how we talk about ourselves, that this affects the ones around us. This scared me. I didn't want my son or my daughter to hate themselves the way I did. To hate their beautiful bodies because mom keeps talking about how big her rear-end is or how her love handles are hanging over. Or how she can't stand how she looks in pictures and she always hiding behind people.
So, I got help. I had an addiction. I wasn't in so bad that I needed to get professional help. But through, prayer, God's word, some friends- the Lord has helped release me. I still feel this stuff trickle in here and there and frankly there are some things I can't do anymore because it triggers that switch in me.
1. I don't get on the scale. Not like I use to. I get on it maybe once every few months.
2. I stopped looking at shape or health magazine. Because it gave me false expectations for myself.
3. I stopped talking bad about my body. For me and for my daughter.
4. I started running- weird huh? But in order to run, you have to eat. haha. So it has really helped me.
5. I pray like crazy- and mediated on the Lord's words which cleans out my soul.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable..if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8
"Let not your adornment be merely external, braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry and putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart , with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.: 1 pet. 3:3-4
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Rom. 12:2
6. I have a few people that hold me accountable. I need people...no matter what anyone says, we need people in our lives. We need people that speak truth to us, that listen to us, and that encourage us. Find your people!!
7. I left facebook for a while. It was triggering some of this and it really, really helped me to leave it.
I'm sharing this because I want the Lord to use my experience to help others. Maybe one of you reading is saying...I get you, I feel you, I've been there, I am there, I don't wanna go there...I don't know where to turn. It may not be an eating disorder but something else that consumes you. Start by telling someone. I am here and I volunteer and I would love to pray with you and help you. If you have any of the below issues, you may need help. And admitting it and acknowledging it is the first step:
You may have an eating disorder if you have any of the following issues;
1. Skipping meals- in order to lose weight
2. You make yourself barf after eating or you spit out food after eating it
3. Overeating to the point of making yourself sick
4. Go to gym "to burn off that meal" on a steady basis. Going to the gym is amazing and fitness is so important but if it is a mental obession, than you may need help.
5. Dieting all day and eating all night -
6. Getting super mad at yourself if you eat something that you didn't plan on eating or isn't in your "diet"
7. obsessing over calories...like all the time. I still have calories memorized to the tea, for most foods.And it sometimes scares me. Because it shows me how obsessed I was.
8. Hating what you see in the mirror-no matter what...thin or over weight. I guess if you just plain hate your body...this could be a sign.
If you are seeking help: email: firstname.lastname@example.org- Krista
Professional help: www.nationaleatingdisorder.org http://nedawareness.org/
Start by telling someone because it can be more than a serious problem for your soul but it can be very dangerous for you body and heart.
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 5:01 PM
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Well- really about 10 people knew it was my Birthday this year. Its a funny thing, leaving facebook, after being on it for like 7 years and have 300 Bday wishes for 7 years to the all the sudden slow little trickle of text messages, some knew and some were reminded.
Leaving facebook has been this eye opening thing for me. I started this little journey with the idea that 1. God wanted me off and 2. it was triggering sin in my life that I just needed to CUT off and that was the best way ever. BUT, God has used this FB cut off to really show me how SELF centered I really am and was. I want people to know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, where I went, how LUCKY I am, how amazing I am, and I wanna know what EVERYONE else is up to as well.
And I told Jason about a month into it, my real challenge will be when my Birthday hits and no one has the reminder pop up on their page. I wasnt gonna get all those messages of praise and admiration and full of compliments. I wasn't gonna have the random person that I hardly knew, yell across the school pick up zone, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTA- which would then also alert others that its my bday and more random text messages would flow in til the about midnight and a couple the next day as well:) I love attention. I am not gonna lie and say I don't. Because, frankly, I love praise. I love it when people notice me and acknowledge me.
There is this thing about Birthdays. You see, growing up my mom made us feel like this day was our National Holiday. In fact, for a while I had this pen that said "It's Krista's Birthday." It was probably bought for me because we NEVER could find my name on ANYTHING, but still. Im pretty sure I just threw that pin away like last year. No joke:) My parents went all out. We probably celebrated for like a week and since my brother and I had Bdays 3 days apart, it was seriously no joke in our family. My dad would come in to school with a hot pizza for me to share, basically until I was a Senior in Highschool. And for those of you who didn't grow up in the country, you don't realize that the closest Pizza joint at this time was like 25 miles away. So my dad drove up to LC or Tilly and brought a pizza to my school lunch.
I think it was when I was like 22 that I realized that my Bday wasn't really as amazing as my parents made it. (Though I think they really just loved and love me that much and don't you even think that I don't do the same THING for my kids and man, because I wouldn't have had it any other way.)
But it did set me up a little to really really really like that focus on my day. So, this year, I woke up on November 18th. I had a few text messages from my parents, my husband, my brothers, and my best friend. The rest of the day was super quiet. I really did feel a little sorry for myself." EVERYONE forgot me", I thought to myself." People don't really love me or care about me because they can't even remember my DAY without Facebook or someone reminding them." I think by the end of the day, I put a picture of the card my BFF sent me and then I had a few messages flow in.
The next day I was so convicted of my self focus and self centeredness the day before. Realizing even more how much the Lord really needs to be working on my Heart. Because I can say all I want about how its ok, I don't need anyone to notice me or say anything to me or compliment me. But really, there are a lot of times that it hurts me when no one does.
Lord may our focus be so on you that on days we seek self gratification and complete focus on ourselves, that your word would penetrate our hearts to take an about face, and turn our focus back on you. Seeking you for wisdom on how to do this. I just want to Seek that widsom with the outcome of Humility.
"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior, his deeds in the gentlesness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes from about but is earthly, natural and demonic."
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 11:37 AM
Monday, February 9, 2015
This is a question that is always at the top of my list,in almost every single area in my life.
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 4:07 PM
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
I didn't post much in January. Was getting the conviction of talking about "myself" way to much. So I posted- deleted - posted -deleted .
Posted by Krista Motsinger at 5:55 PM