The day no one knew it was my Birthday.

Well- really about 10 people knew it was my Birthday this year.  Its a funny thing, leaving facebook, after being on it for like 7 years and have 300 Bday wishes for 7 years to the all the sudden slow little trickle of text messages, some knew and some were reminded.
  Leaving facebook has been this eye opening thing for me. I started this little journey with the idea that 1. God wanted me off and 2. it was triggering sin in my life that I just needed to CUT off and that was the best way ever.   BUT, God has used this FB cut off to really show me how SELF centered I really am and was. I want people to know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, where I went, how LUCKY I am, how amazing I am, and I wanna know what EVERYONE else is up to as well.
   And I told Jason about a month into it, my real challenge will be when my Birthday hits and no one has the reminder pop up on their page. I wasnt gonna get all those messages of praise and admiration and full of compliments. I wasn't gonna have the random person that I hardly knew, yell across the school pick up zone, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTA- which would then also alert others that its my bday and more random text messages would flow in til the about midnight and a couple the next day as well:)  I love attention. I am not gonna lie and say I don't. Because, frankly, I love praise. I love it when people notice me and acknowledge me. 
  There is this thing about Birthdays. You see, growing up my mom made us feel like this day was our National Holiday. In fact, for a while I had this pen that said "It's Krista's Birthday." It was probably bought for me because we NEVER could find my name on ANYTHING, but still. Im pretty sure I just threw that pin away like last year. No joke:)  My parents went all out. We probably celebrated for like a week and since my brother and I had Bdays 3 days apart, it was seriously no joke in our family. My dad would come in to school with a hot pizza for me to share, basically until I was a Senior in Highschool. And for those of you who didn't grow up in the country, you don't realize that the closest Pizza joint at this time was like 25 miles away. So my dad drove up to LC or Tilly and brought a pizza to my school lunch.
  I think it was when I was like 22 that I realized that my Bday wasn't really as amazing as my parents made it. (Though I think they really just loved and love me that much and don't you even think that I don't do the same THING for my kids and man, because I wouldn't have had it any other way.)
  But it did set me up a little to really really really like that focus on my day. So, this year, I woke up on November 18th. I had a few text messages from my parents, my husband, my brothers, and my best friend. The rest of the day was super quiet. I really did feel a little sorry for myself." EVERYONE forgot me", I thought to myself." People don't really love me or care about me because they can't even remember my DAY without Facebook or someone reminding them." I think by the end of the day, I put a picture of the card my BFF sent me and then I had a few messages flow in.
  The next day I was so convicted of my self focus and self centeredness the day before.  Realizing even more how much the Lord really needs to be working on my Heart.  Because I can say all I want about how its ok, I don't need anyone to notice me or say anything to me or compliment me. But really, there are a lot of times that it hurts me when no one does. 
 Lord may our focus be so on you that on days we seek self gratification and complete focus on ourselves, that your word would penetrate our hearts to take an about face,  and turn our focus back on you. Seeking you for wisdom on how to do this. I just want to Seek that widsom with the outcome of Humility.
  James 3:13-15
  "Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior, his deeds in the gentlesness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes from about but is earthly, natural and demonic."